those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we made out on top of his cat.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
