You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
