Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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