I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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