He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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