Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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