haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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