Your mouth is God's brothel.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This toilet bowl is my home.
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