I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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