Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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