And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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