I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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