and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
