You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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