Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
