you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
