Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize