there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
