dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
