apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
