God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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