The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize