So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
