so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
