My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
