don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
