somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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