WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
This toilet bowl is my home.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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