oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
