i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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