Dual....:-)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
