it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock deserves a montage
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize