the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
