So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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