do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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