Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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