Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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