Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
