well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
