Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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