I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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