put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
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I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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