I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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