So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
should my penis look like a turkey
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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