I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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