Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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