WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize