I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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