the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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