i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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