mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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