He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
